When asked “what thing about yourself would you change?” You’d likely be quick to answer, you have a list of answers ready to fire away! But when asked, “what are your absolute favorite qualities you have?” You go into defense mode. You freeze, you think things like “well, I guess I’m kinda (insert whatever surface level compliment you have for yourself).”
This is a trend I see in almost EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of my clients. As women (and maybe men too, I’m not sure…) we’re conditioned to “be modest” and “not be too much”. What happens when we follow those rules, is we believe that we cannot be our truest selves. That we should dull down our happiness, our goofiness, our strength, our opinions so that we aren’t “too much”.
Let me give you a statistic that will blow your mind. Did you know that the chances of you being born, the exact way you were born, with the features you have, the struggles you have, the emotions you have, the gifts you have...the chances of you being YOU, 1 in 400 trillion. So if you for one-second think you aren’t special, think again my friend. You aren’t even one in a million, you’re one in 400 trillion! Starting living through that! YOU ARE A MIRACLE!
I spend a lot of time with my clients working through this self-conscious energy. Because here’s the deal, how are you supposed to start trusting yourself, and using your intuition, if you don’t even know yourself? If you aren’t so clear on exactly who you are?
Maybe you’re over there saying “well I don’t like who I really am”. I get it. I used to think the same things, well I’m: really picky, and can be judgmental, and I worry….those are just some of the things I used to think and say “that’s the part of me that’s real, and that I try to cover up.”
Let me be very clear here: you are a human. You are not a perfect little buddha. YOU WILL HAVE IMPERFECTIONS, but, hear these words. Those imperfections are not YOU. They are a part of you, you don’t have to fix them or get rid of them. THEY ARE NOT YOU. And honestly, those parts of your are stories related to trauma, hurt and wounds you’ve experienced in your life (or things that have been energetically passed onto you that may have not even happened to you...yes, that can happen!)
When we peel back these layers, these qualities that we are trying to hide because they aren’t perfect, we find that there are certain qualities, that absolutely ARE you. And the qualities that ARE you, will always be positive and uplifting because that’s your core, highest, best self. THAT IS YOU. 100% YOU. SHE’S IN THERE, I promise.
So how do you get to know what those things are? How do you even start seeing those things? You start asking questions, you feel into what feels aligned with you.
Then when you get clear on those things, start living your life through those values as often as possible.
Here’s an example, one of my strengths is my energy, and elevating the mood and energy in other people and spaces. As I was doing this work, my coach suggested that I spend the week trying to level up the energy in unexpected situations, with strangers, at doctors appointments at the car shop. Think about small ways that you can level up the energy. One of the ways I did that was when I was holding the door for someone, I looked at them and smiled, and said “have a great day!” not in the repetitive, everyone says that kind of way, but with truth and intention. Intention to level up the energy for that person, and for myself. I could see her energy rise and I thought about that SIMPLE moment for the rest of the day, like WOW how powerful was that to focus on one of my strengths, utilize it in a small way and allow it to have a big impact on me.
I want to give you a few tangible ways to get clear on your strengths.
There is one more activity that I absolutely love and I’ve included it in my online course “Food Freedom Foundations.” This course does EXACTLY what we just talked about in a very deep and profound way. In the course I walk you through step by step how to get in touch with that highest, best version of you, so you can build a SOLID foundation to move forward on!
Sending you lots of love, you magical unicorn you!